By Mark Harrison

We are often told that change is uncomfortable and difficult, that it inevitably involves pain, and that to change your life is to struggle and fight against the status quo. But there is another way. Change can be gentle, spontaneous and natural – effortless, even. With the right approach, big changes can occur without the upheavals we might normally associate with such shifts.

You create your own experience of life

It seems to be a rule of nature that similar things conglomerate. People from a similar social or cultural background are drawn together by a shared worldview; the rich and famous socialize within their own circle; similar scientific ideas which seem to arise at around the same time. The familiar saying, ‘birds of a feather flock together’ arises from this observation.

In the same way, our thoughts tend to attract the conditions we experience. In his now famous book, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Joseph Murray writes,

“Everything that has happened to you happened because of thoughts impressed on your subconscious mind through belief… The habitual thinking of your subconscious mind establishes deep grooves… If your tho0ughts are harmonious, peaceful and constructive, your subconscious mind will respond by creating harmony, peace and constructive conditions.

Our experience of life is a reflection of our inner world. The landscape we paint with our minds becomes the one we walk through every day. We are the architects, the creators of our world. Many people are unaware of this, thinking that life ‘just happens,’ that events occur by chance, and that they are forever at the mercy of random occurrences. If you want to change your life, you will need to take responsibility for creating your experience. Your thoughts draw experiences of a similar quality into your life, so it is vital that your thinking be constructive, positive and affirming.

Feeling good is the key to change

Whereas most people create the conditions of their life by default, the practice of deliberately directing your attention can change your life enormously. This need not be a difficult or complicated process: mind control, meditation, visualizations and endless affirmations are not needed. Nature has provided us with a navigational tool: our feelings.

Bad feelings should not be ignored or suppressed – they are telling you something important. When you feel bad – anxious, worried, afraid, depressed – something is wrong and you are being given a signal that your thinking is not drawing the experiences you truly desire into your life.

They should be acknowledged, accepted and dealt with. Again, there is no need for complicated methods to eliminate such feelings. Whenever you become aware of them, you know that your thoughts have drifted off onto the wrong track; gently direct your thinking back to the positive and the empowering.

When you feel very bad, it can be hard to see a way out, and it is important not to expect too much of yourself. Feelings of relief, hope or optimism are often the easiest things to reach for. Relax, accept that all is well and that, when you stop fighting so hard against your problems, life tends to support you. When a drowning man stops struggling, he floats. Thoughts of this nature – and the better feelings which go with them – are what you need to find.

Change takes time

Sometimes, revolution occurs. As a result of a sudden change in our mental landscape – a paradigm shift – our lives can change enormously in one fell swoop. After years of trying, one day I quit smoking. I just gave up, and I’ve never had a cigarette since then.

These shifts, however, are not the ordinary course of things. Most change takes time – it grows and matures. The tracks etched into our minds by years – or decades – of habitual thought are not wiped away instantly; they become fainter for lack of use, just as new tracks become established, slowly but surely, as we build them step by step, and soon become well-worn highways.

Trying to force the pace of change can lead to disaster – trying to pull grass to make it grow faster only kills it. A river rarely takes a straight course, meandering instead through the natural shape of the landscape, keeping to the lowest points, moving around mountains and hills. But the water keeps flowing and, eventually, reaches the sea.

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished (Tao Te Ching)

You need to be persistent

A new path can only be established by persistently being walked on. The new tracks you are making in your thought patterns will take time to become established, and at first they will be weak. Your thoughts may keep drifting back to the old, negative patterns. No matter – keep going and, in time, you will look back in amazement at how far you have come.

All journeys proceed one step at a time, and to change your life is to acknowledge that the process is important. Relax, enjoy the ride, have fun.

Change can be uncomfortable

As we set out on new pathways, the unfamiliar routes our minds need to take can seem strange and, as such, a little disconcerting. Can you recall a time when you found yourself in an unfamiliar situation? Perhaps you started a new job or moved to a new town. At first, things were uncomfortable. Soon, you got used to the new situation and you started to feel better.

The reason for the uncomfortable feelings was, as always, a result of your thinking – you probably worried about what could go wrong, about not being able to manage, about not doing well, and so on. You can reduce this ‘fear of the unknown’ by gently guiding your thoughts in an affirming and supportive direction. To change your life is to refuse to shy away from new situations. Even at such times, you can feel good. Remember: You are loved; all is well.

Action does not lead to change; change leads to action

It may seem counterintuitive, but effort does not result in lasting change or success. If it did, everyone who slaves away at jobs they hate day after day, year after year, would be successful and happy. Orchestrating the kind of life you desire is not about effort – it is about the right kind of thinking drawing experiences into your life. To change your life is to stop focusing on effort and start focusing on enjoying yourself. Action is how we enjoy the life we create; it is not how we create it.

Go with the flow

The key to lasting change is to go with the flow of your natural wellbeing. There is no hurry. The stream of life is taking you.

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning. (Tao Te Ching)

Water is an apt analogy. It seeks the low ground and always yields to resistance. Yet water can, over many years, wear down sharp rocks into small, smooth pebbles and carve wide, deep channels through a landscape. This is how change takes place.

To resist the natural flow of life is pointless. We can easily become obsessed with acquiring something or getting somewhere, but to want something so badly is to push it away. To change your life is to work on ‘following your bliss,’ to move with the current. Let go, relax, fall into life. It may take you to wondrous new shores.

A thirty day challenge

For the next thirty days, begin each morning with the intention to be aware of your feelings. When you become aware of any kind of negativity as you go through your day, gently change your thoughts towards something that makes you feel better. The ‘better feeling’ doesn’t have to be extreme – we’re not talking about ecstasy, jumping for joy or falling in love (although this would be fine!) Just reach for something slightly better – a feeling of relief, being grateful for something, looking forward to something – anything that shifts your focus from ‘what’s wrong, what I don’t want’ to ‘what I like, what is good.’

At first, it might be hard. The old patterns are strong and they take time to fade. After thirty days, you will notice a difference. Things will have improved – more of the good stuff will be showing up, and you’ll be less bothered about the bad: it won’t matter so much.

Creating a new way of thinking can take time but, as with anything, gentle and persistent practice is the key to success. Many drips fill a bucket. Perhaps changing your life isn’t so hard.

Author bio: Mark Harrison writes at Effortless Abundance. Check out his latest book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life.

To learn more, call us at (336) 793-8040 or visit: http://www/woodengroup.com!

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The Wooden Group’s one-hour “Get Hired” workshop is every Thursday at noon where we’ll discuss how you can improve your marketability,  make your resume stand out,  figure out the best way to network, improve your interviewing skills…and more!

We cover all aspects of a job search.  Workshop content is largely driven by you – the attendee.  So, bring your questions!

The Wooden Group’s office is located in the Broyhill Office Suites on Clemmons Road next to the Clemmons Public Library.

Seating is limited, so call 336.793.8040 or email randy@woodengroup.com to confirm your spot.

Learn more about us at www.woodengroup.com.

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“I am proud to announce the launching of WorkReady Houston, a comprehensive program I have worked hard to establish with Houston METRO since the referendum to expand the light rail system passed in 2003. This initiative will provide much needed job training and placement assistance for Houston’s workers who are seeking to acquire new construction-related jobs and expand on their existing skills. Today’s announcement will be followed by an opportunity for Houstonians to register for this program. I am committed to ensuring that this new training program plants the seeds of economic and professional mobility to Houston’s workforce.”

HOUSTON – Today, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, Chairwoman of the Homeland Security Subcommittee on Transportation Security and Infrastructure Protection, announces the launch of WorkReady Houston, a comprehensive job training program, with Houston METRO.

Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee stated: “I have been a stalwart supporter of Houston METRO for decades. Due to the victorious results of the November 4, 2003, referendum regarding METRO Solutions, we were able to enact the METRO Solutions plan which included: 50% increase in METRO’s existing bus service; nine (9) new Transit Centers and nine (9) new Park & Ride lots, as well as expansion and upgrading existing facilities; expansion of the METRORail line and commuter line components to include 72.8 miles of rail; and initiating of the first 10 years of construction. I worked hard to ensure that an important component of METRO Solutions plan would be my vision for creating the comprehensive job training initiative I am announcing today. I wanted to make sure that any plan that sought to improve our city’s transportation challenges must include an opportunity for Houstonians to develop and improve their construction related skills and obtain the much needed jobs these construction projects would provide.”

“When this plan was passed in 2003, the country was actually facing a slight recession and the unemployment rate in Harris County was at 6.5%. Nearly seven years later, the unemployment rate is at 8.2% in Texas and 8.8% in the Houston metropolitan area. We are still continuing to face one of the worst recessions and housing crisis our Nation has faced since the Great Depression, and the jobs and job placement assistance that will be provided by WorkReady Houston is critical to alleviating the current plight of the underserved and underemployed in Houston.”

“I fought along with Members of the Texas Congressional delegation to ensure that Houston METRO received $150 million for the North and Southeast Corridor light-rail lines as part of the fiscal-year 2011 Transportation, Housing and Urban Development Appropriations bill. This would be in addition to the $150 million secured in FY2010, bringing the total amount of federal funds allocated for the two light-rail projects to $300 million. I was also able to secure an initial $1 million for new buses and to begin improving bus facilities, which will serve us a down payment on future federal funding. In addition, I am unwavering in my commitment to ensuring that these federal dollars translate into real and lasting jobs for Houstonians. I am confident that WorkReady Houston will be the pathway for Houstonians to develop the skills they need to secure the jobs they want.”

“WorkReady Houston, by providing much needed job training and placement assistance for Houston’s workers, will plant the seeds of economic and professional mobility to Houston’s workforce. Today’s announcement will be followed by an opportunity for Houstonians to register for this worthwhile program. I thank Houston METRO, the religious and community leaders present, the professional associations here, and most of all, the people who have come here to apply for this program. With all of your dedication, I have no doubts whatsoever that Houstonians will survive the harrowing economic climate that our Nation is facing.

By Patrick Mathieu

I was at my local library recently, just browsing the shelves, when an interesting book title caught my eye: “Being, Nothingness, and Fly Fishing”

The book is subtitled, “How One Man Gave Up Everything To Fish The Fabled Waters Of The West”

Intrigued, I picked up the book and read the inside flap of the dust jacket. It mentions that in book’s introduction, the author, while writing about a particular river, wrote: “The North Umpqua makes me want to be a better fly fisherman.”

I needed some context for such a bold statement, so I flipped to the introduction and found the actual quote.  The full paragraph reads:

“Never do I fish as attentively as when I’m on the North Umpqua. I feel I owe the river the very best I have to offer, after all, the river has given its very best to me.  The North Umpqua makes me want to be a better fly fisherman.”

Have you ever felt this way about anything? Do you have any things in your life that make you want to be a better person?

• Does the special person in your life make you want to be a better partner?
• Does your job make you want to be a better employee or your company make you want to be a better entrepreneur?
• What about your car? Does it make you want to be a better driver?

Is there anything in your life that would make you say: “I owe this the very best that I have to offer!”

In my role as a life coach for personal development, I frequently meet people who think they are “stuck”.  Often, the truth of the matter isn’t that they’re stuck, it’s that they just haven’t found something that demands the very best they have to offer – something that makes them want to be a better person.

Well, what if the answer isn’t something outside of yourself?  What if it’s not a person or a thing?

What about your life itself?

Please humor me for a minute… just for fun – imagine that you woke up tomorrow with the feeling that you owe your life the very best you have to offer!

What would that day look like to you?

What would it sound like?

Imagine living like that for just one day! How would that feel?

How To Be A Better Person – An Experiment

Now I’d like to propose something.  I’d like to propose that you make up your mind, right here and now, to actually do this tomorrow – just as an experiment.  You don’t have to tell anyone what you’re up to, you don’t have to recruit others to do it with you and you don’t need to make a big deal out of it.  Just wake up with the attitude that no matter what happens throughout the day, you are going to give your life the very best you have to offer! You are going to live your life in a way that makes you want to be a better person.

Be forewarned, this new approach could change everything!

(Seriously, once you try this please come back and tell us about your amazing day by posting in the comments section.)

About the author: Patrick Mathieu is a motivational speaker, author and coach.  His website is The Power of Mortality.

Have you ever had your resume overhauled by a professional?

Are you networking with the right people?

Come to our free workshop where we’ll cover all these questions and much more! Also, receive a complimentary resume critique!

The Wooden Group’s one-hour “Get Hired” workshop is every Thursday at noon where we’ll discuss how you can improve your marketability,  make your resume stand out,  figure out the best way to network, improve your interviewing skills…and more!

We cover all aspects of a job search.  Workshop content is largely driven by you – the attendee.  So, bring your questions!

The Wooden Group’s office is located in the Broyhill Office Suites on Clemmons Road next to the Clemmons Public Library.

Seating is limited, so call 336.793.8040 or email randy@woodengroup.com to confirm your spot.

Learn more about us at www.woodengroup.com.

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By Gabe Martinez

Pain and loss is a reality that we all have to deal with in our lives from time to time. It can control our lives and bring us down, or it can actually cause us to change in good ways and make us better.

It’s easy for us to want to push aside our negative feelings and not acknowledge their existence. We want to feel good and be happy all of the time.

And there’s nothing wrong with wanting happiness.

But what if when pain, heartache, or loss strike us, they can actually change us to make us better people? And what if it can help us deal better with future occurrences of pain?

Back in 2007 on the day after Christmas, I lost my best friend of many years to a brain tumor. Naturally, much grief and pain followed for quite some time. I became hopeless, I felt powerless, and I felt overwhelmed.

I also felt confused and I started wondering why these sorts of things happen.

At one point I could tell that these feelings were beginning to have a solid grip on my life. They were able to dictate how I acted and felt about similar situations.

That’s when I realized that I needed to make some positive changes, despite such negative circumstances.

Realize that good comes out of all bad

This is probably the first thing that helped me to deal with my grief and heartache. Realizing that good can come out of bad situations is a powerful realization.

I said to myself there must be a reason that humans feel such horrible feelings.

Though these feelings are considered ‘bad’ and ‘negative,’ they are really our allies.

Grieving and heartache means we are filled with love

It reminds us of how much we love others, which triumphs over all negative feelings. For most of us negative feelings are temporary, and feelings of love for our friends and family are permanent. Realizing this helped me in dealing with the loss of my best friend. It reminded me that I loved him dearly, which brought me much comfort. I would be very worried had I not felt grief after his death. That would’ve meant that I didn’t love him like a friend. But the grief reminded me otherwise. This is one of the ways good things come out of bad situations.

By accepting these feelings instead of wanting to push them aside, we are opening ourselves to more love and good feelings. Using this fact will help us to grow, even during our heartache. It will also prepare us in dealing with future situations that bring sorrow.

Pain and sorrow are a transition to new opportunities

We know that life changes rapidly and unexpectedly. My life instantly changed the moment I found out of my friend’s passing. At one point I felt hopeless. But when I decided to use those feelings to my advantage, I flipped them on their head.

Dealing with loss is a period of transition. But it is a period of transition to new and greater things. During my period of grief, I transitioned to a period of personal growth. I was able to easily reach out to my friends and family who were experiencing the same feelings.

By doing this not only did I grow as a person, it made the process much easier and quicker for all of us. We were able to grow together. Keeping this mentality helped me to realize that it’s ok to feel these feelings instead of wanting to push them aside so quickly. Had I pushed them aside, I would’ve crawled up in a corner and not had the opportunity to grow closer to my friends and family. I would’ve missed out on the opportunity to grow.

Learn to welcome pain, heartache, and loss

It sounds kind of strange that I’m saying that we should welcome the pain. Who wants to welcome any kind of pain? Welcoming in this context simply means acceptance.

By welcoming the pain, sorrow, and loss we are accepting that it’s there. By acknowledging its existence, we are allowing ourselves to begin the process of getting through the transition phase.

Grieving allows you to get more in touch with yourself

Most people would want to get rid of the bad feelings as quickly as possible in order to jump right back to happiness. We’ll distract ourselves any which way like connecting more to our computers and phones, or maybe even resort to drug and alcohol abuse.

The reason I welcomed the grief and sorrow over the death of my friend is because it really helped me to be more in touch with myself and know myself better. Sure I could’ve distracted myself however I could, but looking into myself is another way to help me grow.

No one wants to feel these feelings, but when they do come (because they will) they can really help you to be more in touch with yourself, which leads to more learning and greater opportunities.

When it’s over, you will have a new and better outlook on life

Though I still have a hard time when I think about my friend, I have a different outlook on life. Here are some things that will help you turn bad times into an opportunity to get more out of your life:

• Appreciate your loved ones more. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are the occasional times when we fight with each other. But in the end you’re still friends. You never know when life will make a sudden change. One thing my friend’s passing helped to realize is that whenever I’m angry with any of my friends or family, I think about my best friend and realize that life is too valuable and short to be spending time fighting. I’d rather spend that time helping myself to grow as well as others.
• Appreciate your own life. Sometimes we take our own lives for granted. Like
  maybe spending too much time watching TV or lying around. My best friend’s life was cut short. This could happen to any of us. I realized that I should take advantage of any opportunity I have to be more productive and better my relationships and myself.
• Realize your strength. I felt weak at the time of my friend’s death because I
  decided to let my feelings control me. When I made the decision to turn that around and instead control my feelings, I realized how much strength I had. Growing as a person also means growing stronger. By accepting the hurt, going through the transition, and finally getting over it, you will have come out a much stronger person. This strength is not only beneficial to you, but it will help you to be strong for those who are going through rough times.

Pain, heartache and loss will always be a part of our lives and is sometimes unavoidable. But I hope that we can all realize the good that can still come out these times. It’s up to you to make the change and take the reigns to your feelings. But when you do, it will surely change your life for the better.
.
About the author: Gabe Martinez writes about his life experiences and gives tools for
self improvement at his blog ImprovemenTools.

By Deborah Fike

The hardest part about change isn’t that it happens to you. Of course it happens to you. You remember how breaking up with that guy made you see life from a different perspective. How quitting your job made you learn a new skill. You are a constantly evolving person and, for better or worse, you have learned to cope with change all throughout your life.

But do you realize change happens to those around you too?

Before you say “yes,” consider this anecdote from my childhood. I grew up in a family with six children. Separated from oldest to youngest by 13 years, you can imagine that we had a wide variety of personalities amongst the siblings. My oldest sister was the Care Giver. My brother, the Logical Scientist. Me, the Dreamer. My younger sister, the Lazy Genius. My youngest sister, the Hard Worker.

And then there was the Fashionable One, the older sister I just didn’t understand.

Growing up, the Fashionable One and I had little in common. I loved video games and comic books while she could care less about pop culture. She loved clothes shopping, while I wore the blue jeans and T-shirts. Our differences didn’t stop at our personal tastes. We squabbled constantly. She thought I was a brat. I looked at her as a demanding babysitter. When she went off to college, we both chose not to stay in close contact. I had my life, and she had hers. Sure, we saw each other at Christmastime, but our interactions remained within the realm of dinners and opening presents.

When I went to college, our relationship worsened. She had gone into dental school and offered to give my boyfriend a free root canal. My boyfriend cried through the whole thing, saying it caused him pain. I blamed her. She blamed me for not being grateful for her work. Our subtle pact to be indifferent to each other had blossomed into a deep distrust of one another.

Everything changed when I went through my divorce. I didn’t tell anyone I had separated and neither did my ex-husband, so not a lot of people knew what was going on. I had never felt so alone in my life. I withdrew into myself, only getting up to go to work. I’d slap on a happy face, do my job, then come home and fall into bed until the next morning. I told all of my family that things were bad and pushed them away, bitter and angry. I wasn’t really angry at them, but I lashed out anyway. Everyone kept their distance.

Everyone, except the Fashionable One.

She called me several times a week, most of the time not to even talk about the divorce. I felt grateful because I didn’t want to talk about it either. She told me about her 1-year-old son’s antics and it made me laugh. I would find a funny Hallmark card in the mail tucked in between bills and advertisements and put it on my refrigerator. She sent me some gas money to take a trip and told me to enjoy it. I used the money to go on a long hike and contemplate my life choices. It was peaceful and just what I needed.

The Fashionable One even came out to visit me. She dragged her husband and son across two states to watch me mope on the couch. She stayed for two days basically talking at me, planning on staying another day when I told her I wanted to be alone. I really thought she would be angry since her family had travelled over 5 hours with a baby to see me. But she wasn’t angry. She made an excuse about how she needed to get back anyway and almost made the idea sound like it was hers. She hugged me good-bye and continued to call the next week.

It wasn’t until I’d gotten over my divorce that I realized how much our relationship had changed. I had spent 28 years of my life largely indifferent to her, and she to me. Suddenly, she wasn’t the Fashionable One anymore. She was the Listener. I asked her why she had taken care of me, even when I pushed her away. She replied, “Because I hurt once too.”

My sister taught me something. Change isn’t a personal thing; it is a dynamic thing that touches you, me and everyone else. It redefines relationships and makes someone you never cared for your best friend. You might not see it because you have already put labels on people. The Arrogant Brother. The Complaining Co-Worker. The Indifferent Father. But sometimes, if we put forth a little effort, we can surprise each other and learn to get past our own labels.

I’m grateful my sister tossed away “The Brat” label and gave me a chance to become something else in her eyes. We don’t always agree on issues, but we’ve learned to accept one another. Besides, she’s fun to be around. She’s one of the most generous people I know. She has an awesome sense of humor. And she’s definitely not the person I thought she was while we were growing up.

Author bio: Deborah Fike is a founder of Fellowstream, a collaboration tool for small teams and businesses. She believes change and growth is not only natural, but necessary, to enjoy life.

With summer almost over and school starting, many job hunters who’d taken time off to travel and otherwise spend family time now look to resume their search. 

Fall is traditionally a good time for hiring.  So is the first quarter.  Current economic circumstances suggest there is no “good” time for companies, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t jobs out there.  It does mean they’re fewer and harder to obtain, so don’t give up.

First, assess where you stand regarding your network.  If you haven’t had contact in several weeks, find something of interest to your intended contact (an article, for instance) and share it with them.  Use that as an intro to help keep you front of mind.  Offer to help their friends who may be looking.  Seek to give, first… receive, second.

Update your online presence.  Tweak your resume on the job boards to keep it fresh.  Make a couple changes each week to your LinkedIn profile and rejoin its group discussions.  Check your resume and add any recent self-employment achievement or relevant volunteer activity.  Rehearse your answers to interview questions. 

In short, hit the job trail with enthusiasm and a game plan.  Easier said than done, yet you and I both know it’s critical.

Learn more about us at www.woodengroup.com.

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If you answered “no” to any of these questions…you need to come to our free workshop where we’ll cover these topics and more! Also, receive a complimentary resume critique!

The Wooden Group’s one-hour “Get Hired” workshop is every Thursday at noon where we’ll discuss how you can improve your marketability,  make your resume stand out,  figure out the best way to network, improve your interviewing skills…and more!

We cover all aspects of a job search.  Workshop content is largely driven by you – the attendee.  So, bring your questions!

The Wooden Group’s office is located in the Broyhill Office Suites on Clemmons Road next to the Clemmons Public Library.

Seating is limited, so call 336.793.8040 or email randy@woodengroup.com to confirm your spot.

Learn more about us at www.woodengroup.com.

STAY CONNECTED!